Forget the hand-carved Connecticut granite or the saltwater lap pool or the club room with the full-service bar.
Let’s talk bathrooms. Eight full and eight partial. That’s 16 toilet flappers to replace. Sixteen chances to clean grout. Sixteen mirrors to collect toothpaste splatters.
Baseball player Derek Jeter listed his Tampa house Tuesday for $29 million. Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bündchen rent the Davis Islands waterfront property, which has seven bedrooms and… * checks notes * … yep, still 16 bathrooms.
Apologies if you are very rich and already know this! But mansions often have more bathrooms than bedrooms. Those of us with a mere two bathrooms last renovated in the 1970s cannot fathom needing, or even finding time to use, 16 porcelain thrones.
Does each bathroom have a special purpose? Is one for pedicures and another for tweezing? Is one Gothic revival and another coastal eclectic? Do any have secret passageways?
For an explanation, I called Bob Glaser, CEO of Smith & Associates Real Estate, the firm handling the Jeter listing. He politely pointed out the obvious:
Luxury homes are not regular homes. They are sprawling compounds of privacy and convenience. The Jeter house is about 22,000 square feet, roughly the size of a Publix. We’ve all been in the yogurt aisle when the bathroom is up by the lottery tickets.
“Just start with the bedrooms,” Glaser said.
Five is typical in luxury properties. That’s a bathroom for each bedroom. Then, you’re going to have an entertainment area, a pool deck, a guest wing.
“What are we at, eight?”
Maybe there’s an in-law suite, areas for the housekeeper and nannies. Maybe there’s a hobby room. And consider parties. Homeowners don’t want guests peeking at their nasal strips and prescriptions (of course you would open that