dryhumored

Anonymous UMD student’s Instagram-based campus bathroom critiques offer dry-humored commentary

“It’s been, like, 100 or some years,” the UMD senior said in a recent phone interview, “and people still don’t have omni-directional showers.”

The dry-humored and anonymous voice behind the popular niche Instagram account UMD Bathroom Reviews celebrated the site’s one-year anniversary last week with a colorful cake served on Minecraft snack plates. A public service that started in mid-September 2019 with a few shots of a third-floor bathroom in the Labovitz School of Business — “slightly cold inside” — averages just more than a post a week in places on campus and off, but always with ties to the university and its students.

The anonymous voice behind UMD Bathroom Reviews called this spot at the Tweed Museum of Art "truly a top tier UMD bathroom." (photo courtesy of UMD Bathroom Reviews)

The anonymous voice behind UMD Bathroom Reviews called this spot at the Tweed Museum of Art “truly a top tier UMD bathroom.” (photo courtesy of UMD Bathroom Reviews)

The News Tribune allows anonymous sources on a case-by-case basis. In this case, the critic’s anonymity is part of the draw of the content. She plans to reveal her identity — which some friends and friends of friends are privy to — near graduation.

“I talk too much smack on here to be real public,” she said. “I’ve said some pretty wild things about various programs at UMD and people at UMD.”

What she is willing to reveal: She is a senior and not a design major. She’s short, she said, just 5-foot-3. She wears glasses regularly and often wears Doc Martens. She’s into spreadsheets, restoring cast iron skillets and then cooking with them. She likes “Little Women,” Lorde, Paramore and Fleetwood Mac.

“Unmatched to this day,” she says of Stevie Nicks and company. “Truly alone in their field.”

The UMD student behind an anonymous Instagram account said she doesn't know why the university needs a gym when the bathrooms near Romano Gymnasium are large enough to play half court. (Photo courtesy of UMD Bathroom Reviews)

The UMD student behind an anonymous Instagram account said she doesn’t know why the university needs a gym when the bathrooms near Romano Gymnasium are large enough to play

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